Words by Clyde Singleton

so there was some FINE ass asian girl who hit me up today, and all i gotta say, "betcha cant do it like this"(snap!). go ahead. take your bummy, non gettin a girl by yourself ass to my page. then you can annoy the s**t outta her, and she'll be right back ch'eah daddy. man, i got the internet goin nuts! i aint worried about no paul wall. dude might wanna stay off that purp, do a few sit-ups and hit the track before the nigga ends up like the white ODB. yup! haha! im killin em!

oh yeah. update. this just in- "pharrell cant skate" phenomena has hit a high orange on the national security's poser level. i repeat, its hit a high f**kkin orange. and if anyone sees that cornball, tell him dr.spock called and wants his lame ass gang sign back. really quick- who steals gang signs from made up people who fly around in spaceships? or who goes around throwin up the same sign as grown ass folks called Trekkies, who obsess over fake people who fly around in spaceships? hmmm.. just was wondering. what else. yall get that music i blessed yall with last night? or where you lookin through some chicks folders whos probly the f**kkin police? well, if you know how to back up and look at photo albums, back that ass up like juvenile to last nites bullet i posted, and cut and paste those links up for some free mixtapes and whatnot. im only doing the s**t one time on myspace, but to everyones luck, my website will be done next week. yup. next week. blogs, downloads, photo galleries, and im so wide open to take shots at and post people up, i might wanna start paypal tonight so i can start stacking "don't do it to me" dough. them guys dont want it w/mr.904, nooooooooooooooooo... OOOOOOOOOHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTT!!!!!

I JUST REMEMBERED SOMTHING! ATTENTION PEOPLE. after calling and offering my services to SPoT for the Tampa pro 2006, i was instantly informed that this year, no other than PAUL ZITZER, I REPEAT PAUL ZITZER(ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE EVER- I CANT MAKE EVER BIGGER, SO USE UR IMAGINATION)WILL BE EMCEEING THE PRO CONTEST! hold on.. ok. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA.... ok.. sorry. im back. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. HOLY BEJESUS! IM GOIN ON PRINCIPLE ALONE! EVEN IF I GOTTA TAKE A BUS! AND, F**KK IT- IM PAYING TO GET IN TOO. THIS COULD QUITE POSSIBLY BE THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF SKATEBOARDING! Ive talked to zitzer plenty of times, but not for more than a... say, 3 minute time span. and its easy to keep my attention! ask my treo600. how, between both schafer and zitzer, can a crowd possibly be entertained for longer than a practice session? HOW? i dont know, but theres two things thats for sure that weekend, u will see me there, and someones gonna faint from 2nd hand embarrassment due to one of those guys pitifully awesome sense of humor and crowd control. by the way, you guys do know m.c. means "move the crowd" right? hahahaha.. ZITZER.. F**KKIN WOW! someone please get weiss at least. hes a funny white dude. him and duffy. that would be sick right? but who wants to be "entertained"? especially for 5-6 hours a day... yeah f**kkin right. man, ill see yall tomorrow, but more importantly, i want EVERYONE to save their dough now and PLEASE come to Tampa pro(plug) to see all the pros, me-capt. crunk(me) in effect and lastly, the headliner- ZITZER on the mic. i heard thefutures supplying tomatoes, but you didnt hear that from me.. nuh-uh. and i heard im havin a ballers convention at a unnamed hotel/golf course. kids not allowed. its the pros baby. bring your clubs you bums! well damn! well yeah, u DAMN right! im out.. mr.904, yall know the name. jeah!

"i gotta layoff, the way yall, hate me like im adolf, but yall cant see me, ray charles..."