Help Chris Nieratko Win Sheckler's Whip Article at Skatepark of Tampa

Help Chris Nieratko Win Sheckler's Whip

Posted on Monday, January 14, 2008 by Chris

By Chris Nieratko

Hey friends, what are you wearing? I mean, what are you doing?

I have a small favor to ask: HELP ME WIN RYAN SHECKLER'S CAR.

Ryan and I are complete opposites: He's young, I'm old. He's skinny, I'm fat. I cannot 360 flip lipslide a rail, BUT I already found a chill girl. So I'm one step ahead of him in that department. BUT he has a 2003 land rover. And I want it. And he'll give it to me if I raise the most money for cancer. So help me win Ryan's car!

I figure if everyone donates just $2 each, I'm a shoe-in. Sure, $2 can feed a family in Africa rice for a month or maybe help some crappy death-metal band from Iraq get a gig, but Africa is such an 80s cause and who listens to death metal anymore?

This is 2008 and materialism is where it's at. It's the most worthy cause I can think of. I mean aside from this cancer thing that we're raising money for. So if you don't mind, click here and donate a couple bucks. I really need a new car. I mean, cancer would appreciate it.

No. Wait. That's not right. Cancer will be pissed if you donate money. This is anti-cancer stuff. Don't you want to rebel against cancer? Pretend cancer is your parents. Tell cancer how much you hate it by donating $2 or more now. Operators are standing by.

Thanks,
CHRIS NIERATKO

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